Say what?

J was having a hard morning and needed lots of "encouragement" to get a move on.
After the 14th time of asking him to brush his teeth and get dressed and be nice to his brother and to stop crying over everything, he looked at me and said "If you would be nicer to me it would be easier for me to have a good day." Um,okay. I got told by a six year old.

C was cleaning his room and listening to the radio during all of this.
He comes into my room and says, "Mom, what's an orgasm?"
Me- "excuse me?"
C- "An orgasm, there was a lady on the radio saying that when she does jumping jacks she has an orgasm"
Me- "ummmm, (thinking that I need her trainer)well its sexual."
C- "ohhhhhh, you mean like when a guy, ummm, yeah, umm. Good to know. Okay." and he walks out of my room.

Wow, that was huge.

Big Bargains

Nana Judy and I headed out for our big day of shopping on Saturday morning. The goal for the day was to finish Christmas! And of course to get the best bargains available.
Lawyer's Wife has a theory that regardless of what the tag says, when its on sale at Macy's it will ring up $12. So very true!
All weekend when you used your Macy's card you got an extra 10-20% off. This was on top of the sale or clearance price. Can you say "SHOPPING!!?!"
C wanted a leather motorcycle jacket, 40% off then another 20%. It was so cheap that I was able to get one for J and still saved $5 off the original price. crazy!
Abercrombie kids had everything marked down too. C is very label conscious as most teenagers are. I refuse to pay that much for a tshirt or a hoodie, it has to be on sale. We found some serious bargains. Its going to be a very Abercrombie Christmas for that kid. J is finally big enough to fit in the smallest size. He is going to get his first Abercrombie fix. He has been begging forever, I hope he is excited to be the proud owner of a hoodie.

I finished my list, including the stockings. I even helped Nana pick out everything for the kids and we shopped for my aunt. She hates to shop, we are supposed to buy what she needs and take it to her so she can see it and stick it in a bag. Merry Christmas!

Do you know the best part of this?
I have wrapped everything that was purchased yesterday! Wrapped, bowed, stacked in a corner until the decorations go up.

I saw the funniest sign on a landscape/nursery store- Permanent trees and wreaths 20% off. Not Artificial, permanent. I love it!

Not again

So I was finishing up wrapping presents (more on that later)and I showed Paint Boy the cute tags on the packages. I love them, they are "Big and bold", I say.
Paint boy follows up with, "its not the only thing that's Big and uhhhh..."
"You are not allowed to say that anything is big, heavy, large, whatever. I only gets me in trouble!"

You think?

Planning

my free weekend!
Yep, that's right. Paint boy and the kids are heading to his parents for the weekend.
I am the total winner here!
No Husband!
No kids!
No IL's!
'Cause I'm free to do what I want any 'ol time!

I am going to have dinner on Friday night with friends. (I just have to figure out who I like enough to spend my special night. hee,hee)
On Saturday, Nana Judy has pencilled me in on her calendar. It's officially "Hair Girl day". We are starting off our day with a ton of Christmas shopping. I will be completed by the end of Saturday if it kills me.
We will eat what ever we can scavenge while on the gift hunt. Then we have massages scheduled at 4:30. Its a perfect day!
BTW, while discussing our massages today, Nana said that she had a "couple of gift certificates" that we could use.
HG-Okay, great! But how many?
NJ-(pulling out a stack that equals everyone that I have given her in the last 2 years) Enough!
HG- Mom, you always get excited when we give you these. Why haven't you used them?
NJ-I am always excited, because eventually you will offer to take me and I can spend the day with just you.
HG- Well, we could do that any time. (feeling guilty)
NJ- No, we are both too busy, we have to make plans and write it on my calendar.
HG-Let's look at your calendar and we will schedule another day.
NJ- Mmmm, I think I can work you in at the end of January. Smiling and not kidding

So this means that in a convoluted way I paid for my massage 2 years ago!
Also, that my mom is very busy taking care of 2 sets of church friends, my aunt, my boys and all the assorted charities for whom she volunteers. She has been trying to become a substitute teacher now that she's retired, but she can't find the time. She should have been using the Gift Certificates for massages.

Big Thanks...

to all my Bloggie friends!
Y'all have sent the good karma my way. I am almost completely booked until Thanksgiving. Only 3 slots left. It is also filling up fast in December. Think good thoughts, ask and you shall receive,etc.
Clemson girl tells a story about being told to "write it down and mail it to yourself".(Truly hilarious) Its supposed to come true. Hey, whatever works. I wrote it here and y'all answered!

Remember, its "Great in '08, but its going to be Fine in '09!"

PTA update

I never knew there could be this much drama.
After I worked my butt off yesterday to get the stupid flier distributed for the Holiday Market, I got a phone call.

Her (chair of the fun run, that is happening on the same day)- Are you busy?
Me- no, just wandering around Garden Ridge. (avoiding the rain)
Her- So I found a flier in my son's Backpack today. I want an explanation!
Me- Did the President not call you? At the Board meeting, we voted to have the Market and Elf shop.
Her-No, she didn't. I told you both that I didn't want a "fundraiser" to mess up MY community event.
Me- Well ,we need funds. So it was cookie dough or this. The Board voted to do this.
Her- I don't like people talking about me and my event when I am not there. (she is supposed to come to board meetings)
Me- It was in the agenda, so we discussed it.
Her- I am not happy. I need to call the President! Someone has to answer for this!
Me- Here's her cell xxx. I look forward to talking more later.

So I get home and there is a very hateful email about how she has run political events in New Hampshire, raised tons of money and doesn't want to deal with money anymore; how people should not talk about behind her back and how over all of us she is.
Great, just great.

I have decided to go back to the Junior League next year rather than deal with all this.

ETA- So crazy lady must have taken her meds this morning, because I just got another email. She is apologizing for acting crazy and going off the deep end.
Here is the last line of the email-"I think the world of you and am awed by your commitment to both your professional life and to XXX elementary school."
Did I mention that we have spoken less than a dozen times? That we have been face to face twice? Who blew sunshine up her butt this morning? She must be close to overdosing on her happy pills.

PTA

Should you decide to chair an event and come up with a "great idea", do not pass it off to me. I have my own stuff. I will take care of it 'cause that's the type girl I am, but don't have anymore ideas.

If a flier needs to go home on Friday and I am working, do not approve it on Friday morning and expect me to be able to "work it out". 1100 copies do not make themselves. Nor, do they count themselves in stacks of 20 for the teacher's mailboxes.

If I say I will have to leave by a certain time, please stop saying,"one more thing..." I don't have time, clients are waiting. Put it in an email, at least I can hit delete.

BTW, buy a new cardigan! I am tired of looking at the same 5 pink ones that you wear as your "signature".
I feel better.
Just so you know, the Junior League is WAY more organized than the PTA ever wanted to be!

No you didn't.

Paint boy is totally one of the husbands that makes everything a sexual innuendo. Even after 16 years together he still "likes" me, "really likes" me.

That said, on to the story.

We are standing in the kitchen tonight, discussing whether C is still dating his girlfriend. He asked me if they were "hot and heavy".
Me- "No, I think they broke up."
PB- "that's good. He's only 12."
Me- "yeah. (my mind is on finishing dinner)
PB- " The only one Hot and Heavy around here is you."
Me-"WHAT!??!!"
PB-" That didn't come out right, did it?"
Me- "Not so much."
PB- "Um, yeah, sorry. Stammering I meant you were hot, you know, hot. Not heavy, like fat, just hot. Just..."
Me- "stop talking, just go set the table."
Pb- "good idea."

First of the year

I saw my first Christmas decorations of the year, going up on a building in town.

Its very exciting, all of the local events are getting underway.

There is an old theater in the Square that has been in horrible shape, several local leaders led the charge to renovate it and bring back the glory to that corner.

The Strand is almost finished after years of fundraising and renovations.

The Atlanta Lyric Theater company is going to put on productions there, starting with Beauty and The Beast. The first curtain rises on Friday December 5th. Tickets are very reasonable and they are abundant. On the site you can see the floor plan and choose your seats (not just what's "best"). I was able to get seats on the fourth row for Saturday 12/13!

What child wouldn't love the magic of Beauty and the Beast? What adult?

Run, don't walk to the Strand for the Event of the Season!

Feeling better,BUT...

WTH?

Thank you for all the well wishes, they must have worked. Either that or the antibiotics I have been on for 4 days!

The only thing that is still sick is my business. It has a bad case of the sluggish.

Usually this time of year I can barely breathe getting everyone beautified for the holidays. This year, not so much.

I haven't been this slow in about 10 years. Way back when I went out on a limb and opened my own salon.

I am now issuing an order- GO GET YOUR HAIR DONE!

Colored, cut, the works.

Your Stylist needs to eat too!

She has presents for her kids to buy!

You know you don't want to show up at Thanksgiving with roots. Aunt Sally will say something. We don't want that now do we?

Dying, truly dying

So last week was June Cleaver's Birthday. We have celebrated that girl's birthday every year like its the BIG one. She loves a party and likes to make a week of it!
A group of us went out on Friday night. I was feeling great. I rode to the restaurant with JC's best friend, that was trying to rally out of her cold and Lawyer's Wife, who's kid's have pneumonia.
Can you see where this is going?
I woke up Saturday and thought,"I didn't drink that much, how can I feel this bad?"
I am Dying.
Since Saturday morning I have been vertical for about 8 hours.
This includes the 3 hours at church where I taught Sunday school. Yes, I taught a bunch of 6 year olds and yes, I hope they get sick. There are too many of them every week. 14 is too many, most classes average 6-8. I average 12-16. I am the craft queen, they don't want to miss a project. A nice cold could widdle out the stragglers.

I am now at work infecting my clients. They complain too much if I cancel them. They all can see that I am sick, they don't seem to care. One did offer to "let me go home, when I finished her." Nice, huh?
I am going to have to start injecting food, like Madonna. I can't breathe and chew at the same time.
I know this post rambles.

I am high on cold medicine.

We need help...

with the Big Thank You Project!

A local radio station sent thousands of letters to our military over seas last year. This year they are trying to have a MILLION messages by Thanksgiving.They will play every thirty seconds between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Imagine what it must be like to be separated from your family during the Holidays. This will help both the service people and all the family that they have left here.
It will only take you 2 seconds to fill out the form. Please do it as many times as you can. Every time you sign into your blog, send a message.
If you Post this on your blog and leave me a message, I will send you a special treat. Remember that I am a Hair Girl and I have access to good stuff.

It's Swap Time!

One of my favorite people is hosting a swap!
Head on over to Clemsongirl's blog and sign up. It's super easy , no major theme, just Christmas.
Sign up ends Monday, so don't wait.

ETA-Okay girlies, we are up to 37 people in the swap. Keep adding those names. Lets make this A LOT of work for our Clemson Girl!

PTA ownership

I am just saying that if you sign up to chair an event, don't think that you own the day. Should another committee choose to do something in conjunction or if the Foundation chooses to hold an event, YOU DO NOT get to take your toys and go home.
GROW UP!
We are ALL trying to make the school a better place.
You may have issues with "Fundraising" but its necessary to pay for "your" community event.
I am not asking for your help.
This was your idea in the first place. You asked me to help you!
I will not even enter your event, because I will be holding mine. And let me tell you I will be holding my event, because I don't want to have to sell another d@mn thing (cookie dough included).

There, now that the PSA is over-

Isn't the weather glorious? I am basking in the 70 degree days.
I hope you understand a little rant now and then. ta ta!

Happy Halloween!

My family loves Halloween! It has everything to do with dressing up and playing a part. The boys get to choose their costumes with the only condition being that it can't be too scary.

This year J was a knight (check out the "Go-T" he spelled it for me). His costume always revolves around the weapon.
C was a vigilante from "V for Vendetta". Yeah, I didn't know what that was either, but as you can see, pretty harmless.

C had issues with the pumpkin bag that he has carried for years. He decided he would carry a pillowcase.
Um, not so much.
I decided to make it less ghetto by making him carry a jack-o-lantern one that Nana Judy made. The cool factor was zero.

Ding, dong. Trick or treat? racking up the candy.

As you can see from their loot; our neighbors pass out good candy. Everybody gives choices, my boys always go for the M&M's. The fewer Reese's Peanut butter cups the better.(I eat those!)

Nana Judy and I sat in the driveway and passed out glow sticks, pencils, tattoos and of course candy!

I have decided -

that if you can't walk in high heels, you shouldn't be wearing them at 13! Also if its 50 degrees outside you shouldn't be dressed as a hooker. Now you are a hobbling hooker!

if you can't tell me what you are, you don't get candy. No costume, No treats!

that everything is better with Firefly Sweet tea. (but we already knew that!)